If you're not sure what a cumulative rate is, you've come to the right place.
You've read them countless times and probably used them in your own writing without knowing it.
In this post I will:
- Define a cumulative sentence and give examples.
- Show how and why cumulative sentences make your writing shine.
- Give friendly hints on how you can use them to improve your writing…
And more.
Ready to add some pizzazz to your writing? Let's go.
What is the definition of a cumulative sentence?
A cumulative sentence is also called a loose sentence.
Cumulative sentences are a collection of two or more sentences or phrases. This includes:
- The main idea or independent sentence, meaning it is complete and stands on its own.
And;
- One or more subordinate clauses modify or provide additional information about the person, place, idea, or event.
Compose a cumulative sentence
The following applies to the following examples: So Grease the main clauseincluding the subject of the sentence. What remains are subordinate phrases and should modify the main idea of the sentence.
Let's illustrate a cumulative sentence using a passage from a famous American writer…
Joan Didion: Some Dreamers of the Golden Dream
“The San Bernardino Valley is just an hour east of Los Angeles via the San Bernardino Freeway. But in some ways it's a strange place: not coastal California, with subtropical twilights and gentle westerly winds off the Pacific, but a harsher California, battered just beyond the mountains by the Mojave and ravaged by the hot, dry Santa Ana winds , blowing over the passes at 100 miles an hour, wailing through the eucalyptus windbreaks and straining the nerves.”
Note that the base sentence is a sentence in itself, with San Bernardino Valley as the subject. Behind this are the modifying subordinate clauses, which stop the forward momentum of the main clause.
Joan Didion uses short and long phrases with adjectives rather than following consecutive descriptive sentences after the independent clause. This gives a complete picture of how strangely different the San Bernardino Valley is from the character of California.
It's a super long sentence, but completely understandable because it conveys a more relaxed and literary style. It creates a balanced sentence.
Cumulative sentences improve your writing, especially when you write descriptively.
Would you like it to be used somewhere else? Let's look at a few more examples…
Cumulative sentence examples that add sparkle to your writing
If you skillfully write cumulative sentences, reading will become a pleasure. Let's look at how they are used in literature, poetry and popular culture.
Cumulative Sentences in Literature
1. Michael Chabon: Gentlemen of the Road: An Adventure Story (Del Ray, 2007)
“He cried silently, according to the custom of shamed and angry men, so that he could hear the creaking and clattering of their leather armor as the pursuing party stumbled, stomped and scraped down the path, past the hurdle in which he and Hillel stood concealed…”
2. Sinclair Lewis: Arrowsmith (1925)
“He dipped his hands into the bichloride solution and shook them – a short shaking of the fingers downwards, like a pianist’s fingers over the keys.”
3. Annie Dillard: Pilgrim at Tinker Creek (Harper & Row, 1974)
“I'm with the Eskimos in the tundra who run after the swift-footed caribou, running sleepless and dazed for days, spread out in snaking lines over the glacial hills and the reindeer moss, facing the ocean, under the long-shadowed, pale sun, all running in silence all night long.”
4. John Gardner: Life and Times of Chaucer (Alfred A. Knopf, 1977)
“The unwieldy provision carts, draft horses, and heavily armed knights limited the advance to nine miles per day. The huge horde moved in three parallel columns, cutting wide roads filled with trash and destruction through an already deserted landscape. Many of the adventurers now traveled on foot, having sold their horses for bread or slaughtered them for meat.”
Cumulative Sentences in Poetry
5. Anne Sexton: All My Pretty Ones
“This is the yellow scrapbook you started with
the year I was born; so crackly and wrinkled
like tobacco leaves: excerpts in which Hoover overtook
the Democrat waving his dry finger at me
and prohibition; News where the Hindenburg went
Dejection and the last years in which you were convinced about the war.”
6. Anonymous: Beowulf (Modern English translation by Frances B. Gummere)
“This Beowulf was famous: The boast flew far above him,
Son of Scyld, in the Scandinavian lands.”
7. Langston Hughes: The Weary Blues
“The other night down on Lenox Avenue
Through the pale, dull pallor of an old gas lantern…”
Cumulative sentences from pop culture
8. Eminem: Courage instead of fear
“…Since I've been here
From the day the song “Hi! “My Name Is” has been deleted…
9. From “Ozark” (Netflix)
“What are you doing, Martin, When the bride that took your breath away becomes a bride that makes you hold your breath in fear?”
10. Keith Urban: You'll think of me
“I woke up around 4am this morning
While the moon shines as bright as headlights on the highway…”
Helpful tips and features of cumulative sets
You may not notice it, but I bet you've already worked a few cumulative sentences into your text.
Here are a few more tips to complete this lesson.
Tips for Writing a Better Cumulative Sentence
The 2-sentence structure of a cumulative sentence makes it easier to create great sentences.
Remember that an independent main clause is followed by a dependent clause that illustrates, describes, or fleshes out the idea in detail.
As you've already seen, authors of all genres – fiction and non-fiction – can and will use this sentence form.
To do it right, you just need to practice and follow a few tips…
- Use examples of great authors as models for your work.
- Use a grammar checker to make sure you don't drag things out too much (run-on sentences). Grammarly, Hemingway Editor, and ProWritingAid can help.
- Read your work to someone else. Furrowed brows say you've lost them. So make sure your modifying sentences aren't so long that your main idea gets lost in a random, complex sentence.
Make a scene with cumulative sentences
The cumulative sentence is ideal for economical staging. The main sentence broadly presents your attitude and you use modifying sentences to complete the picture.
Consider the following sentence;
11. An example from my own fiction writing
“The white side was the last, a few steps from where the white faja first hung, and just a few minutes from the clearing.”
Characterization and cumulative sentences
Cumulative sentences are also a great way to describe characters…
12. Another example from my own fiction writing
“When Bill died, Sarah grew up; No anger, no alienation, no pointless time spent with unimportant friends, it was as if everything her father meant to the family had been transferred to her, and she grew years older in just a few months.”
As you can see, cumulative sentences help unite thoughts and images and allow your writing to flow. It makes for a pleasant reading experience.
It definitely worked for my writing. I bet it will enhance your writing too.
Cumulative sets vs. periodic sets
Cumulative sets are pretty easy to get right. On the other hand, a periodic sentence requires a slightly gentler touch.
So what is a periodic set?
The periodic sentence is often called a suspended sentence and is characterized by suspended syntax, meaning that the entire meaning is unknown until the end of the sentence.
Here are a few examples to illustrate my point;
13. Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance
“To believe your own thoughts, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all people, that's awesome.“
14. Truman Capote, In Cold Blood
“Like the water of the river, like the drivers on the highway and like the yellow trains speeding down the Santa Fe tracks, drama, in the form of extraordinary events, had never stopped there.“
In the examples above, the beginning and end of each sentence structure (marked in red) make perfect sense when formed as their own short sentence. However, including modifying phrases means you have to read further to understand the full meaning of the sentence.
And this is what distinguishes periodic sets from their cumulative counterpart.
With practice, you can easily make periodic sentences a comfortable part of your writing repertoire. However, be careful with wordiness so you don't lose the intended meaning of your sentence.
Time to incorporate cumulative sets into your game
So you've seen what cumulative sentences are and what they look like in different art forms. Are you ready to incorporate it into your writing?
Great.
So what's next? Of course, practice.
Practice and read a lot. This will help you recognize cumulative sentences and make your text sharper.
Look for opportunities to use cumulative sentences in your descriptive passages, both in setting and in building characterization.
Focus on fluidity and economy and let it happen naturally. As you edit, ask yourself two simple questions:
Is the passage stronger and is the reading richer?
I bet on a resounding yes!
All the best and good luck.
This post was originally published on December 10, 2022. It has been updated for clarity and completeness.
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