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I've made millions of dollars producing hit music and selling over 80 million records, and I've built several multimillion-dollar companies. I've done it by selling my value, talking my way out of difficult situations, negotiating deals, using persuasion, and managing to reason with some of the most unreasonable people in my life – both in business and on the street.
But I never went to college, had no formal musical training, and never took a leadership course. So how did I do it? There was one source of truth that I always relied on and nurtured. It starts with a simple concept that I developed over my years as a successful entrepreneur and founder.
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I learned not to overlook or ignore any source of information or person. Everyone is important, but not everyone is equally important. I learned how to give different levels of attention to different people.
The problem is that people are very quick to dismiss others. If someone doesn't talk about the issues or opinions that are important to them, they immediately write them off and assume they can't learn anything from them. You shouldn't do that.
Photo credit: Clinton Sparks
Let's say someone is talking to you about real estate, but this topic has no relevance to your business, career or personal life. Most people would not normally actively listen. However, in such situations, I show interest. It is important to me:
- The person – I give everyone the time to express their opinion
- Listening – even if I don’t agree with them, I like to listen to them
- Learning – I am interested in what interests others, even if the topic does not necessarily interest me
Valuable information is everywhere, but most people discard information that they don't consider valuable or that they seem to think they know what value it has for them.
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That's the point: you can listen to the best teachers and entrepreneurs, but you should also listen to your neighbors, interns, that weird guy from work, or even a street performer. All of this information is extremely useful and valuable in building a well-informed and armed you.
It's the mentality behind it, the personality of those who do it, and the emotions involved. You're never selling a product or service. You're always selling a feeling. If you understand what people feel, need to feel, or want to feel, you can sell anything to anyone and capitalize on your ideas.
People want to feel power, security, coolness, success, health, strength, happiness, whatever you have to offer. You just need to understand the person you are dealing with to find out what feeling suits them best.
How to get started
Pay attention to when people speak, their body language, or even what they post and write on social media. When I talk to people, I learn their personality profiles. This includes how people pay attention, their timing, their choice of words, how they listen, how they hear, what they respond to, their tone of voice, etc. Learning these profiles helps me better understand what kind of information people are interested in or what moves them. It also helps me learn how to better interact or approach other people.
Photo credit: Clinton Sparks
But remember, this only works if you approach each conversation with an open mind and are willing to care enough about the person to listen to what they have to say – and, after all, you know there is always something to learn.
Adopting this human philosophy brings many benefits. These include:
- You must not underestimate people
- You don't miss any opportunities
- You will learn how small ideas become big
- You use your time better
- People will like and respect you more
- You will learn better how to communicate in future situations with this particular personality type
The caveat is that everyone should be listened to, but not everyone in the same way. You wouldn't listen to an intern telling you about their weekend the way you would listen to your boss expressing frustration with your job. But if you listen to everyone with the same attention and intent, you can reap the benefits mentioned above. Don't label conversations as unimportant, stressful, and wasteful. Listen and be interested so you can learn.
I don't avoid a conversation unless I've heard it from that person multiple times and it's the same complaint – but even that has its value. Maybe they'll say something different this time that will help you really understand the root of their problem, or maybe you'll be in a different mood that allows you to hear the same thing differently. There's a difference between overthinking and overthinking.
But that doesn't mean you have to let someone talk your ear off. When I give someone the same attention I give everyone else, I can finish a conversation having figured out what the other person is looking for (power, empathy, happiness, success, etc.) and giving that to them. At the end of the conversation, I can walk away knowing that the other person felt heard and I learned something about their personality type. This “conversation hack” has helped me figure out what people want and has helped get my business to where it is today.
It sounds simple to just listen more to everyone, but it requires an incredible amount of self-awareness and patience, which are byproducts of genuinely caring and understanding others. So technically, it gets easier the more you pay attention to different types of people.
How this affects companies
Remember that most people like to be around like-minded people because they want their ideas and thoughts to be supported. By using my conversation tactics, you can appeal to different groups of people because you satisfy a feeling that others may only be able to get in their inner circle.
No matter where you are in life or how successful you are, you need to learn how to sell to others. This conversation tactic will help. You may disagree and think that you don't want to sell anything or that you're a salesperson.
You are wrong about that.
You're always selling, and you've been doing it since you were a kid. Whether it's why someone should be your friend, why someone should date you, or why you should be hired or trusted. You even recognized the right time to sell by waiting for the right moment to ask your parents for a snack, a new toy, or a slumber party. You didn't ask them when they were visibly angry because you understood their feelings and cared enough (about yourself) to ask when it would be more in your favor.
So stop being blinded by the transaction or trying to be something you're not. It's OK to sell yourself; one of the best ways to do that is to invest in others. If you care enough about others, you'll be exactly what everyone needs.
Your friend,
Clinton
Create your very own Auto Publish News/Blog Site and Earn Passive Income in Just 4 Easy Steps
