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Do you feel overwhelmed because you have so much to do, both professionally and personally? There are only so many hours in a day and we often try to cram too much into it. I was in this vicious circle for a long time.
Eventually, it became too much for me while running multiple companies and working crazy doctor hours. I just couldn't get it all done. Instead of doing a few things well, I felt like I was falling short on everything. I took a step back and realized that I was saying yes to almost everything. Ultimately, this was limiting my ability to balance work with what really mattered most to me: friends and family. It was time to figure out what was important, what wasn't, what to delegate, and how to manage my time.
I realized I needed to say “yes” to less and “no” to more.
Today we'll learn how to reclaim our time and take a closer look at how to set boundaries, restore our energies, prioritize what's most important, and do it all without feeling guilty. This includes helpful principles and practical steps to empower ourselves and prioritize our life goals.
Understanding the value of your time
The author of The Road Less Traveled – a wonderful book about achieving fulfillment – M. Scott Peck once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. And until you value your time, you won't do anything with it.” That's an important lesson: Value your time. Time is the only resource that you can't get back once you've spent it.
Artfully saying “no” to buy time is part of that process. But I get it. I love saying “yes” to as many things as possible. It got to the point where I felt obligated to always say “yes.” And when I couldn't say “yes,” I felt guilty.
But if your time is valuable to you, saying no can be a strategic decision that allows you to prioritize your most valuable tasks and responsibilities, especially those that are essential for busy physicians.
freedom of choice
One way to regain your freedom is to choose your commitments. This will allow you to concentrate better and be more productive, which will help you achieve your goals. The results will be immediate and you will work better.
Another way to look at it is that when you say yes, you bind yourself and lose your freedom of choice. James Clear, author of Atomic Habits: Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results, put it well: “When you say no, you are saying no to one option. When you say yes, you are saying no to every other option.”
Always saying “yes” doesn't give you more freedom, quite the opposite. By being selective, you ensure that the commitments you choose are in your best interest. It's not just about turning down offers. It's about choosing a path that leads to better focus and higher productivity.
We need to understand that saying “no” has a huge impact on our ability to say “yes.” Every time you say “yes” to something that is not one of your main priorities, you are saying “no” to something that is one of your main priorities. Think about that.
In addition, unimportant obligations can drain energy and divert attention from important tasks, causing you to be less successful at many things rather than highly committed and successful at a few things.
How to say “no” politely
It can be so hard to say “no” and not feel guilty, as if you are insulting the other person in some way. However, saying “no” does not mean you are rude, selfish, or unkind. These are unhelpful and misguided beliefs.
So how can we overcome this problem and say no politely? Here are some simple strategies and tips that I use.
- Express your gratitude: Be genuinely grateful for the offer. This shows that you value the recipient's time and that they have considered you.
- Be clear and precise: Be direct and say that you can't commit, don't leave it ambiguous, and don't give an overly detailed apology.
- Give a brief reason: If necessary, give a simple reason for the rejection so that the other person can better understand your point of view.
- Offer an alternative: If possible, suggest another solution or person who could help with the request.
- Leave the door open: Indicate that you may be open to future opportunities to maintain a positive relationship.
- Set a limit: Politely set or emphasize a boundary if you feel this may be an ongoing problem.
- Tell them a clear “no”: Place your “no” between two positive statements, such as gratitude and leaving the door open, to soften the impact.
- Reject with empathy: Show that you understand their needs or feelings. This can help to mitigate disappointment.
Strengthen borders
For physicians, faced with the dual pressures of clinical duties and personal obligations, setting boundaries is critical. Setting boundaries is not a sign of selfishness, but an act of self-respect. They define our boundaries and protect what is most important to us.
When you set boundaries in a healthy way, you retain the capacity for personal growth, self-discovery, and self-care. So how do you set boundaries? Start by using some of the strategies we discussed to say “no” more often. But here are a few more things you can try.
- Establish specific work hours and communicate them clearly to colleagues and patients. Use scheduling tools to enforce these times and manage expectations.
- Keeping a careful calendar to understand exactly how you spend your time can help you define your time priorities more clearly.
- Delegate tasks and sort them as needed. For example, train your employees to complete specific tasks or use a system that prioritizes issues according to urgency.
- Schedule time for yourself. Reserve time for personal activities that fulfill you, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time with friends and family. Consider this time non-negotiable.
- Review and adjust. Regularly evaluate how effective your boundaries are and adjust them based on feedback and your own observations. They must meet your evolving needs.
Say “yes” to yourself
Remember that you are the one who decides how you spend your time and what priorities you set in your life. This is not selfish. You are saying “yes” to yourself. When you say “yes” to yourself, you are on the right path to achieving your goals and living a successful and fulfilling life.
Setting priorities is important to me as a physician, but also as someone who helps colleagues in my communities like Passive Income MD, Curbside Real Estate, and Ascent Equity Group. I am able to be there for the community while also making time for my family. This takes practice, and I am still working on it.
By applying the techniques we've discussed today, saying no can become easier without being harsh, but you'll also be able to use the time you gain to align with your priorities, taking a step in the right direction toward achieving your goals.
We've talked about a lot of actionable steps today. This week, try saying “no” to an unnecessary commitment that doesn't align with your life's priorities. One step at a time, you can start to manage your time and energy better.
Until we next see each other, I hope you continue to use your time to create your ideal life.
Peter Kim, MD, is the founder of Passive Income MD, the creator of the Passive Real Estate Academy, and provides weekly training through his Monday podcast, the Passive Income MD Podcast. Join our community in the Passive Income Doc Facebook group.
Create your very own Auto Publish News/Blog Site and Earn Passive Income in Just 4 Easy Steps
